I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize