I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
