Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
