He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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