I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
