After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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