Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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