Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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