Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
