He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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