Are we in a gay sports bar?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize