my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i think im in europe. pls send help
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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