her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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