HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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