Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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