Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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