his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
