I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
