I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
