Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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