What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
