a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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