Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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