thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
