Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize