gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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