It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
