No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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