Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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