He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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