I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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