Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
