why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
