im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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