I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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