i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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