Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
