Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
