He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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