glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's blow job season.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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