we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
