He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
