he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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