I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
