My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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