my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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