After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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