Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
