i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
