apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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