Me too!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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