3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
