i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
