Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
