Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
