ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
