I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize