I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
