y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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