Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
